Much-Afraid

by Missy Grant

“As she looked down into the depths of the valley, the heart of Much-Afraid went numb. For the first time on the journey she actually asked herself if she ought not have attempted to follow the Shepherd. How could one follow a person who asked so much, who demanded such impossible things, who took everything?”

I had two families I love experience tragedy this past week. Actually, it was the same night and the calls came minutes apart. My normal mode is to run to the scriptures – which I did – and pray – which I did, but I also read through the book Hinds’ Feet on High Places over the weekend. I first read this book in high school and have pulled it out fairly regularly over the ensuing years.

I was struck with the above quote. I have had many moments in my life where I have stood looking down into the depths of the valley and gone numb. Where I prayed with everything I had for the path to go up to the high places – only to discover the path wound down into the depths. How about you? Are you doing any valley gazing?

I was recently asked by someone to define faith…many scriptures come to mind, but I think faith is best defined this way, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Your will be done….And being in agony He was praying fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground. When He rose from prayer…” (Luke 22:42,44-45)

Faith is the action of our heart to allow for the painful journey to unfold. To be in agony – yet pray fervently, “Not My will, but Your will…” – to allow the blood to flow freely, and to know we will arise.

“How little she had imagined when first she set out on that strange journey, what lay ahead of her and the things which she would be called upon to pass through. So for a long time she sat silent-remembering, wondering and thankful. At last she put her hand in his and said softly, “My Lord, I will tell you what I learned…”

Heavenly Father…you broke my heart this past week, but because of the blood of your Son, I can say those words to you and know your heart broke as well. May we pray like your Son! May we have faith that takes action in our hearts. May we take hold of your hand and share our heart with you. Amen