Family

by Peggy Brown

It is very common to hear the people in church referred to as the “church family”. In years past, we referred to one another as “brother Bob” or “sister Sue”. Scripture is full of references to the brothers and sisters in the faith, and it reminds us that we are all part of one body.

In our Sunday school class a few weeks ago, we saw in Acts how the infant church gave of what they had so that no one in their group would have need. They took care of one another as if they were family.

Acts 4:32, 34-35

"All the believers were of one heart and mind, and they felt that what they owned was not their own; they shared everything they had. There was no poverty among them, because people who owned land or houses sold them and brought the money to the apostles to give to others in need."

It seems to me like we may have lost sight of the importance of the concept of the church as Family. I don’t know if it’s the culture we live in, or maybe we’ve become too self-centered. We come and go to church semi-regularly; we have difficulty committing to regular attendance of a Sunday school class, or a Bible study. Some may even feel like all that is needed is to attend on Sunday morning and that’s going to do it.

I’m here to tell you that that isn’t the case. This past weekend, my family packed up and drove to San Jose to hold the memorial service for my aunt Alma. (I can see you scratching your head and wondering what this has to do with anything…have faith, I’m getting there!) We held the service at the church where my family attended for over 55 years. I went there my entire life (I think I was about a month old when I went to my first service). My aunt attended there for 53 years!

There is a big new building now, with a huge new sanctuary, but we held the service in the old sanctuary…where I grew up, was baptized, married, and began my “grown-up” life. What struck me was that even though the building had changed some, it seemed like I was walking into my old home. As I stood, transported back in time, the people began to arrive. Familiar faces began surrounding me, looking 25 years older, but flooding my heart with an amazing feeling of being loved. If there was any question of my still being loved, the hugs and tears of joy were there to remove all doubt! There was my mom’s friend who knew me “before you were”! There was the mom of a high school friend in whose home I had been a frequent visitor. There were the friends who got married the same summer we did, with whom we have stayed in contact over the last 35 years. Then there was Dom…he and his wife were youth sponsors when I was in high school. I babysat their children. He nicknamed me “Alice” because I had a yellow jumper and long blonde hair and he said I reminded him of Alice in Wonderland. He helped me feel like I was special during a period of life when most of us don’t feel very special (those turbulent teens!). There were the people that became our friends as newlyweds. What a precious flood of memories came over me as I reconnected with all of that family.

What made those people family? Time together, relationship, fellowship around the Word, caring. It wasn’t a magic formula, it was life. It was being involved in each other’s lives, not just on the surface, but deeply involved.

It grieves me when I hear people say things like “my needs aren’t being met so I’m going to another church” or “I’m not happy with this decision, so I’m taking my family to worship elsewhere”. Not to say that there’s no reason for leaving a church, but I think we run away too easily.

Our pastor is fond of saying that being involved in each other’s lives is “messy”, but so does having parents, siblings and children. Most of us don’t run away from our children when they don’t treat us well. (Put them out with the dog, maybe, but I digress! ) Most of us continue to have relationships with our parents, even though they aren’t perfect.

If you don’t have a church home, why not? If you have one, but have never gone any deeper than the Sunday morning worship service, why not? Please consider what you are giving up by not getting in and getting “messy” with the family! There are friendships waiting, there is encouragement to be found, and there is even the occasional exhortation (that word means to spur on) in our Christian walk. I can’t think of anything better or more crucial for your spiritual growth.

Once you find a “fit”, plan on staying. Don’t be so thin skinned that you run at the first sign that the people there may not be perfect (you will fit in, and besides, it’s good practice for the eternity that you’ll be spending with those very same folks!) Grow your roots down deep into the family. Make it a place where you can know and be known. I know for a fact, from experience, that it doesn’t get any better than that!

Lord, thank you for the refreshment of my “old” family. Thank you that the love that was cultivated for so many years still grows strong. Please remind me of that when I become impatient with my “new” family. Remind me that it’s only been 15 years with them and we still have time to go. Please help me to remember that life together is messy and don’t let me be easily offended by the mess. Show me where I can help and lead me to where I can be helped! Thank you that the church is your plan, not man’s. Amen