I Am Lonely

by Sue Donaldson

“I am lonely. My mom is lonely.” She spoke quietly, painfully.

How could this be? She’s lovely, articulate, smart, and non –judgmental – simply said, a sweet young woman. How could she be lonely?

Is she is alone in her loneliness? I doubt it. As connected as we are in this age of tech and transportation, women can feel isolated. (It’s not the same as “being alone” – as moms, we yearn for those few hours of no tugs-on-our-shirts.)

Are you lonely? Hard to admit, if so. We want to believe we have a strong group of friends. We all want the Sisterhood, if not the Ya-Ya. We long to connect. And, if we don’t quite, isn’t it just one more thing we are not good at? Do we have to feel guilty about this, too? Can’t it be someone else’s fault? Does it really come down to “I must not be worthy of developing deep friendships”? (Bummer. Now I feel worse than I did before. . .)

As a confident extrovert (and, a redhead to boot) – almost to the obnoxious level – I will tell you, I have been lonely. It’s soul starvation. It’s not meant to be. It’s a slap in the face of God’s great big family design.

What can we do when we feel lonely?

I think I had to admit it first. At that admission, I’ve cried a bit, in my pillow or in the car. I’ve read David’s heart prayers in the Psalms. But, then I made a call – several-- I like a crowd. I made a party happen (out of desperation--not because I was so good at it.)

That’s not easy to do if you feel puny. It’s not easy to do if you think no one else is lonely. Let me put that idea to rest right now--that’s not true—everyone is lonely some of the time. They need you to call even more than you need to call them! (It’s true, you can believe me, I’m old.) And, since you want to meet someone else’s need – do it for that reason alone, and you will not feel so lonely. They may need to be in your family.

“God sets the lonely in families.” (Psalm 68:6) He knows we need each other. Make that call. People just need a cup of water and a little bit of you. (See Joy Newman's blog post on August 4)

Dear Father,

I’m lonely. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe not. But I know You don’t want me to feel that way. Show me what to do about it. Help me do what you are telling me to do. Maybe my family needs to grow. And, help me look after the lonely. Amen.