A True Friend

by Peggy B.

I just finished reading a book called Sisterchicks Say Ooh La La! By Robin Jones Gunn. It is what we call in our house a “bubblegum” novel. A friend at work gave it to me for light reading when I retired last year. It is lightweight, fun and encouraging.

The book is about 2 girls who become best friends in Third Grade and remain best friends through adulthood. The plot is really not the point at all though. What really caught my attention was this quote in the very first chapter:

“I look back now and realize that the gift of a true friend is that she sees
you not the way you see yourself or the way others see you. A true friend sees who you are inside and who you can become.”

The more I read it and the more I have thought about it, the more deep that idea has become. I have lots of “friends”. I have childhood friends (yes, I am still in touch with one from pre-kindergarten), I have neighbor friends, I have work friends, I have church friends. There are different levels of friendship among them. But over the years I have been blessed with a few close friends. Remember in school we used to call them “best friends”?

I am so thankful for the women God has put into my life that fall into that category. Each one of them knows me for who I am. (At least mostly…I confess I still have a few dust bunnies under the refrigerator. {Listen to Sunday’s sermon if you don’t get that}) Those are the friends that I don’t have to pretend with. They are the ones who “see who I am inside and who I can become.” They are also the ones who challenge me, usually gently, to become that woman. They are the ones who listen to me whine without thinking less of me and let me complain without being judgmental but with just the right “refocusing”. They are the ones I can share my joys with for celebration and sorrows with for hugs, tears and prayer.

For me, some of those friendships have ebbed and flowed. Sometimes distance or other change has put the friendship on a shelf for a time, but what amazes me is that when I reconnect with that friend, it’s like we have never been apart. We chatter like magpies as we catch up on all of the comings and goings of one another’s lives and share the deep things of our hearts. There is some type of bonding of the soul that takes place when you have a friendship like that. What a wonderful thing.

People are designed by God to be in relationships with one another (have you ever listened to a group of women? More importantly, have you ever tried to get a group of women to be quiet?) We love to relate to each other. Some of us love it more than others. Some women are one or two friend people, while others are multiple friend people. (Quiz: Which category does Sue Donaldson fall into?)

My challenge to you is to look at your relationships. Do you have any “true friends”? Do you have someone who will see who you can become and help you get there even when the going gets tough? Some of you may say “I am waiting for someone to come along….” Well, don’t. Even if you are the world’s shyest introvert, you can begin a search for that person. Look around…invite someone for coffee…see who you might be able to reach out to. I’ll admit it is a bit risky feeling, but you can do it! Those relationships are built over time but really can begin over a cup of coffee and small talk. (Or tea and chocolate cake!) Don’t give up, keep trying.

A true friend will also raise our gaze. The can help us look at Christ, not our problems; we will see Him in their face. They can challenge us in our walk with God. We will have the opportunity to be Jesus to them in turn and we can challenge them in their walk with God. That’s the way we are designed!!

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron,

So one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17 (Young’s Literal Translation)

Iron by iron is sharpened, And a man sharpens the face of his friend.

Father, I thank you for the true friends you have given me. Thank you that they have shown me your grace and love. Thank you that they lift me up and turn my eyes to You. Help me to be a true friend to those women you’ve brought into my life! Please be my model of a true friend, so that I know how to be that friend to others. Amen