Feeling Blue

by Sue Donaldson

I emailed a friend the other day telling her that I was feeling “blue” for no real reason that I could pin down. And, since I have a good life, I felt guilty on top of it. (Which made the “blue” more like “gray.”)

Maybe you know the feeling: a general malaise, nothing to look forward to, lots of sighs, no zest behind the smile, no energy to cheer another on, no desire to get going. And worst of all, if someone asks, “How are you?” and you begin to answer honestly, the throat begins the close and tears come unbidden. Oh, brother! You think, “What is wrong with me? Where are those hormones? Aren’t you a child of the King? Don’t you have the Holy Spirit at your disposal? Can’t you get your eyes off the present long enough to see what God has in store?”

My friend gave some good advice. First, she said it was normal around the holidays to feel “blue.” (I thought the colors were red and green. . .) And, that it was good to let people know so that they could offer TLC. I told her I didn’t like to do that because then I cry. She said that crying was good. I only like crying after I’m finished. The load diminishes and since I know God counts my tears, I know He’s heard me.

It helped to figure out why I felt low (not enough tea parties – I need tea parties; my eldest was heading back to college – she’s happy there, but the transitioning makes me grieve a bit; I needed to be around people more – I’m made for more than watching the Lakers by myself.) Someone told me to check my sugar intake – I told her I do, every time I take a bite. . .

Isaiah said that when we're too tired to carry on, we can mount up on eagle's wings -- "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

I bet he meant tired in spirit - not just plain tired.

But, you may not even have the strength to get up on God's wings. That's when David’s comfort in Psalm 91:2, 4 helps: "I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in Whom I trust.' He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge."

Where do you find refuge? On top of God's wings, soaring above your circumstances? Or, running for cover under His wings, letting Him shelter you til the storm is past?

Either way, He's ready for us. That makes me feel better already. And, part of running for cover is letting your friends know you could use some TLC. I’m going to Jean’s for tea today. Feathers and tea parties. Always a good combination.

Father God, Thanks for loving me through the low times. The good part is running for cover under your feathers. Thank You for friends who love me, too. I know You get it – You are the Father of compassion. Amen.

PS

The best place to cry – even better than the shower – is at night in the car on the freeway. I dropped Bonnie off yesterday at USC, and blubbered on parts of the 10 freeway, the 405, and a small stretch of the 101. It felt great and there was no traffic! Now, to clean her room . . . now that’s depressing . . .